my mood r alright now aft ytd[:
even sad also no use & no point.
everything gone & has ended. everything to e end.
ytd qiuying come down awhile with meijun to meet me & weijun awhile then went hm. me & weijun slack awhile at blk10 then saw aku ahkor with his gf^^!
Laughs. i take a cig frm him cus i wan to smk:)
we chat awhile & he pass me cig jiu go le.
aft smk fin, i send laogong to bus-stop take bus178 hm. hahs.
today super bzy & almost cnt post my blog today^^!
actually hab time to post. jux cus of sever brk down early in e morning.
so i cnt use com early in e morning.
frm 10am onwards, i super bzy cus everything in a mess^^!
training awahile jiu stp cus marcus gt appt, so e training will carry on aft lunch.
today 4.30pm got meeting somemore^^! sians, i hate being secertary^^!!!
hopefully i cn stop being secertary so tht i dun nid b involve in e topid MEETING^^!!!
anw thks alots to those who care for me & those who love me:)
i love those who cares & love me too:)
thks for everything & hope lifes will b better & i jux want to enjoy my lifes:)
stop posting & bak to work now or else ltr in a mess agn. Laughs.

I m super upset today & super emo today^^!
cus i hab a quarral over with someone[:
she is impt but she feel she dont.
she is in my heart but she feel she dont.
now we r no longer frens jux cus her one words then dun b frens^^!
yet i still carry on e quarral with her since she wants.
cries. i m really super tired^^! pls let me off & stp everything^^!!
we alr cnt complete e events we use to plans[:
i wish her cn find a guy she love deeply & a guy hu love her deeply.

Ytd enjoy going to vivo with weijun:)
thks him for playing bus with me & pei me go find jiatong.
baobei, happy dat we went to fetch u aft wrk ytd?
hahs. ily to e max^^!
this fri enjoy tgt & hab fun happily alright?
ytd then i know its xinxin BIRTHDAY this fri^^!
i hope i cn hlp her celebrate this fri:)
i will tried my best to gib her BIRTHDAY surprises if i can:)
hahs. cus i treasure well me & her friendship:) hehs.
maybe this fri we gng ton at cini kbox?
still not sure yet. if really at cini kbox, we sure super cold & no sound e nxt morning.
LOLS:) sing till 6am really mad uh^^! Laughs.
we also not cfm yet & maybe change till nxt week:):P:
today hab e topid classes agn^^!! sigh.
Meeting qiuying & weijun tonight at marsiling.
cya them ltr nites:) Loves them to e max. hehs.
anw finally fin e meeting mins today^^!
wahhs, luckily got marcus help or else dead^^!
cus tht day meeting not really heard clearly abt wad they was actually talking abt.
I dun even understand somemore. anw thks alots marcus[:
i love u all but i dun love myself:) hehs.
stop posting le.

Aft reading ur blog post, i tell myself i tink i hab e cfm ans in my heart[:
u tel me not to feel guilty, i tel u i jux simply cnt.
I m so sry. maybe u cn control ur emotional but i tel u i jux simply cnt.
u also hab block ur blog frm let me reading doesnt it then i hope u can stop viewing my blog s well.
stop all e nounsense tings, i m really super super damm tired.
pls let me off alright & stp all ur innocents^^!
i dw to let u read my blog jux cus i simply want to tell u i hate u viewing^^!
u let me v v super mess up. if cn pls leave my world right away.
i jux want to go bak to my own life & own world thts all.
i dw to know wadever shit le if u jux dw to tel me now.
even its my fren tel u or wadever nounsense.
cus i tink there dunhab e needs le. everything its over[:

hahs. ytd was having a great day with weijun, jiatong baobeii & her bf:)
we will go clementi kbox cus qiuying hab training at there.
but we cmi to wait for her cus she dw to take bus hm.
we at clementi kbox til 10.30pm then leave. hahs.
done wib smking & went to bus-stp to take bus to je.
wen rch je, we lost e way of finding bus178.
we ask 333 bus-driver then we finally find e way to take e bus.
wows, i slp at bus & nbr wake up till i rching marsiling & i found out weijun alr board dwn e bus. hehs. thks jiatong for wake me up & thks qiuying for calling me arhbo i need to waste one more bus fares[: hehs.
these few days being with them is a super memorable days:)
i really hope e tyms jux stop at there & dun wake up:)
cus i want its always stay likdat & i jux want being with my SIS^^!
without qiuying & jiatong for these 10-11yrs, i really dk my lifes turn to how?
its my bless to know both of u & make my days brighten up:)
no matter wad happens in e future, i will still rmb both of u.
e memorable wont b erased or forgotten:)
ily gers to e max^^! mwarks to my sis:)

Weijun sudden become my gans Laogong today.
b4 accepting him, he promise not to take cab to skul. Laugths.
so cute of him eh. he dk wad to do & fexed abt his rs probs today too.
shock & wonder wad decision he should make is e right way?
i also dk howw to hlp him but to support his ans & b there wib him wen he need me.
so wad i wanted to tell him, dun b stress alright?
cus u still have us & listen to wad jonathon say, no matter still hab to face e facts de.
I must learn how to face e fears & e mares & e shadows^^!
all e hurtful thing to overcome myself^^!
i m sure i can do it de:)P
i tell myself i must have confidence so no difference to u.
anw thks qiuying, xinxin, jonathon, weijun & jiatong for all e joyness for these few days.
ltr night gng kbox agn with jiatong & weijun at clementi.
mayb jiatong not gng if she working.
another reason gng there cus of qiuying.
she have training today & she ask me to go s i know she afraid.
I must support her & she sure can do it well for e training today:)
cheers qiuying. LOVEYOU to e max^^!
hahs. cya gers & guys ltr eh.
not really cfm for timing will reach hm by today. hahs.

Sat I went to bugis for steamboat with meijun, qiuying, weijun & chewcai.
we eat at there almost 3hr^^! LOLS:)
wows, they keep give me lots of food s i m alr super FULL^^! LOL.
i enjoy being with them dat night.
aft dat we went to bugis street walk & buy things.
actually i should go for SPORE FLYER but end up never.
he is tpp late & i cmi le. I m so sry to him[:
hope he wont mind & i felt guilty for him to waste e money. sigh.
ytd qiuying, jonathon, xinxin, weijun & me went to clementi kbox frm 6pm-11pm^^!
we habing k dinner at there & i went for interview receptionlist le.
I dk i should quit this job working at office s clerk not?
I m considering dat job but e tyming probs.
I worried my PO might not allow me to work at kbox for tht tyming.
but i really wish to change cus i m tough being at here. sigh.
gd to leave too. maybe?
waiting my PO to cor me soon to get e ans s well s i know she sure ask me abt e breach TR^^! sigh[: super stress & super headache^^!
still hab 3plus mths & probation fin^^! haiyo.
bobians but to b obedient[: stop posting & went to work now.

Num of ppl go to safra kbox ytd got 18ppl^^!
7gers & 11boys^^! LOLS[: now i count then know tht gers dunhab so many.
ytd got yunfeng, wesly, yaotheng, kinmeng, jiawei, janice, daoxiang, weiteck, zhenhao, guangrui, weijun, jonathon, xinxin, qiuying, cuiwen, jiatong, laifong & me.
hahs. actually i m unhappy cus i need to wait for them^^!
all only know how to late & let me wait at jp.
but end up i m happy wen all of us reach kbox cus we take alot of pix & they entertain me. thks alots to u guys & gers[:
I appreciate everythings ur all do for me & ily all to e max^^!
LOLS[: aft kbox daoxiang, zhenhao, guangrui & weiteck go off first.
i need to thks them for their presents.
no matter wad they but, i also like it cus i cn feel they hab e heart to come celebrate with me is e main thing:)
erzi,mum miss u to e max & its bless to hab u s my erzi^^! laughs.
hope to cya al soon:)
aft dat jiawei send janice to bus inter take bus hm & he come towards posb atm to find us.
aft dat we chit-chat awhile there & go find kopitiam.
wen reach kopitiam, there is no place for us so many ppl.
then we went to jp new site toward e feast kopitiam:)
hahs. jiajing come up feast kopitiam meet us up.
aft dat we went down smking aft taken e so called 'lunch & dinner'^^!
all of us take bus187.
jiajing, yaotheng & weijun gng to my house to celebrate my bdae cake with my fam.
aft tht we rush to bank & library. LOLS.
we wait jiatong at party world & sing til 2plus am.
aft party world, we went to blk111 cs take a drinks & chit-chat there.
aft fin drinks, we went to blk 113 playground there to slcks & sing.
hahs. enjoy e day with them but super tired wen cum to work today^^!
sigh. shall stop posting.
rushing to meet qiuying now for e steamboat^^!

I m happy enough to received a surprise from u all WAH & HUA:)
really ty so much especially melissa & thks desmond for gng out to buy.
thks for e effort & thks for buying such a delicious fresh cake.
unexpected u guys & gers will celebrate for me.
its really quite touching & dk wad to say is e best to express my feeling now:)
hahs. actually mood wasnt really good but cus of them,
my mood turn better^^! They r e best.
& i gng out with them on 22may2010 for bowling event:P
thks them alots & loves them alots to e max.
reallt so thkful.
i nbr received this surprise for a long tym yet they giving me a so wonderful surprise.
I m happy & tht is enough. its a unforgetable day for this memories. hahs:)

Ytd i sudden in low mood.
I jux feel tht whether tml is mine bdae or others?
no one tell me anything or gib me e right to make any decision or inform me anything so its like i m not exist liktht.
but nbm uh aft saying out to them.
so sry & hope they will understand.
hahs. anw my mood r alright now cus e kbox matter hab been settled:)
anw, thks to all sending 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' msg.
I v appreciate & happy enough to receive ur msg. hehs.
willy jux cor me to tel me too:)
really thks alot^^!
anw today wrk til 1pm & i cn go le. LOLS.
stp posting til here.

I change my link ytd evening b4 i knock off[:
I decided to change link jux cus i want to prevent someone dat i wish he/she could stop viewing.
my mood been affected wen hearing all those awful words & make me cnt control my emotional[: sigh.
anw ytd I nbr went for sci classes cus i go party world with my best sis:)
thks for ur all acc & i hope to stay this way all e while. hahs:)
being with ur all is e happiness tings:)
i wil keep e photo well too:)
sigh, today got meeting wor. bobians & hab to go for e meeting.
anw today my dad gng to celebrate for me & its been so long nbr enjoy at my bdae^^!
tml is my actual birthday & thks to those who hlp me celebrate & rmb my bdae:)
tml gng to safra kbox & alr reserved:)
so tml abt 12ppl gng or maybe more? haben cfm yet.
stop typing or posting cus i wan to wrk now^^!

Today no mood to post^^!
anw i m really tired.
sometyms u telling me those hurtful words yet end up tel me it wasnt true.
do u tink its fun?! its it dis e way u try ur best not to hurt me agn?
sigh, whatever. I really dw to bo0ther le.
anw gng to meet jiatong now:)
thks for her acc & we gng to party world tgt ltr.
weijun maybe coming to meet us ltr.
sigh, actually qiuying coming but end up nbr[: sobs^^!

I alr no mood yet my dad bdbj quarral with me^^!!
now turn to totally no mood & super bad mood^^! sigh[:
jiatong want to meet up me tonite[:
I m considering since i in such a super bad mood^^!!!
MEETING ADA NOW:) STOP POSTING le.

I feel i cnt type my feeling here anymore.
cus i dont know how to express now:)
even i know, i feel there dont have e needs[:
I will still post s jux to update abt how my lifes is being.
I gng to meet ada ltr. thks her for telling me she not angry with me anymore.
I m happy tht she will still want to meet up me:)
thks her alots^^!
anw, tml got sci classes wor. sigh.
sudden i feel ..... hahs. happy to go meet ada.
just dw to tink too much.
thks to all rmb my birthday & i appreciate u all than u all do:)
ily all & hope to cya soon^^!

Today also feel abit tired lea. LOLS[:
anw ytd i was suprise dat junjie will give me present. hehs[:
thks dat he so got heart & came dwn all e way to marsiling:)
thks to those who rmb my birthday too:)
I really appreciate those who treat me so good & those who cares abt me:)
thks to all of them & wh colleages.
with ur all, my lifes wont b brighter s i saw.
so to some wh colleages, ily all. Laughs.
tml i got sci classes wor. sigh.
anw today meeting ada cus she meeting me at cw.
i m supprise she will meet up me & hope she dun angry over me le:)
bak to work now.

Happy Birthday to JUNJIE:)
Today is ur actual birthday so must be happy.
btw thks for ur cute present ytd^^! hehs.
ty so much for coming dwn to marsiling find me.
& thks dat u tresure this fiendship so much[:
Lastly i hope u all cn get well with ben cus i know he treasure e friendship with ur all.
rmb i said last time? wad i want to c is ur all tgt & dun keep quarral le.
quarral wil make a person super tired bt sometym maybe become even closer.
its need to depend on ur all le. I m here to sincerely wish u.
I also treasure our friendship than u do:) hahs.

Today super tired & not really feeling v well.
i tink not having enough slp barh.
sigh, aft wrk gng to junjie hse to meet him.
so sorry to him abt ytd[:
boi dun sad dun sad uh.
i m really super sorry for not celbrating with u ytd nites[:
cheer up & there still cn have more wonderful memories ahead:)
hehs. I also want to thks all my friends.
if dunhaf u gers & guys, maybe i cnt stand up to look brighter side.
laughs. i jux love u all:)
no u then dunhab me ger.
cus u r impt in my lifes.
i know someone angry me cus i pt u in such impt places & neglect their feels.
but e facts is u r jux super impt to me.
maybe they will angry wen reading this post.
but i m stating e facts & e true.
they also alr hab neglect my feeling^^!! sigh.
anw junjie, i be coming to meet u abt 2hrs time & go hm rest alrught?
hehs. hope u understand uh but i tink u will.
imy all my sec friends^^! hope to cya them soon.
times is precious to me to met til many difference kind of sec friends or others?
laughs. all memories r in my mind le[:
stop til here, gng to wrk now:)

Ytd i at wdls centre with qiuying, cuiwen, yingying, meijun, xinxin, jonathon, weijun,leon,qiucai & other fews fren dk de. LOLS[:
we went there to play pool til evening time.
a guy call me dat asking how me & mars le.
LOLS[: i dun even rmb who is he but he still cn rmb me? Laughs.
aft dat we went to blk10 play bb.
xinxin, yingying, meijun, qiuying & me nbr join e guys for bb.
dat nite i acc xinxin,jonathon & weijun ton at blk123.
i ask jiatong to come down to join us ton too. hehs.
i enjoy e days being with them & its a unforgetable day playing truth game.
anw we also ton at there play poker card. hahs:)
today i also meeting qiuying & went down to ten miles meet xinxin, jonathon & weijun.
evening tym we go to blk10 play bb. hehs.
this time round i got play. hehs.
qiuying & xinxin playing too.
play match somemore^^! LOLS[:
i tot sure lose cus i dun really knw hw to play bt no, cus of jonathon^^!
he is tall enough & play quite well. hahs.
anw i cn post my blog jux cus i using weijun laptop to post de^^! hahs.
these few days is a great day & jux being myself.
& i know ada still angry with me s u jux dw to say.
sigh, if u want to b likethat then nth i cn say.
I dun mind u angry me but rmb dat i still hab u gers.
anw thks qiuying hab e heart to acc me celebrate my bdae wib me:)
cya u gers & guys on fri:)

Here to say 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MUM!'
Today is ur birthday & i never been forgot.
ytd its a small present received frm me[:
I will bring u go out eat soon wen u r free:)
for e past memories, i have try to put down cus u r my mum.
but even what u trying trying to compensate now is no used already cus its too late^^! but mum, i have never hate u before.
last time, its my childish but i really super dislike u once[:
all its over. I have grown up & i understand e pains of urs.
I cya likethat its really heartbreak me^^!!
mummy, please let me bear all e pains with u & share with me when u needs[:
cus i do care for u & always behind watching u without ur attention.
I don't want to be so silly or to suffer alone & stop all those evil things.
I really hate u being EVIL or ask ur own kids to be e SPY.
cus ppl will say 'got this kind mum then daughter also e same'^^!
like daddy temper also not good & ppl always take me to b same with ur all^^!
I don't like cus we r totally different thinking & wasnt same at all for everything.
sigh. wad u did cn b forgiven by me but don't repeating e same thing to meimei.
or else i will super angry u & don't make me simply just totally ignore u.
mummy sorry if my words offence u. I know i shouldnt all this cus its your birthday today but what i want u to know e main important is I really care for u^^! so I will remember your days:) mummy i always love u:) mwarks^^!
all we been gone through thick & thin have been a torture or a miserable lifes,
but one thing always never change is we always mum & daughter^^!! hehs.
Takecare of your ownself alright when i not being with u.
approach anytime when u need my help or someone to lend shoulder to liy on.
I will be there right away if i can cus i do care about u^^!!
mummy remember my words:)

Wows, now i want view his blog also cnt.
so I cnt view now cus he hab put private.
anw it doesnt a matter le.
s long s he choose to forgive me & so thkful for his understanding.
thks for his everything, he really touch my heart.
but i m so sorry to him^^!
sigh. anw ltr i gng to meet weijun & qiuying they all.
they gng to plae bb & go play pool aft bb:)
hehs. ty for their joyful:)
its bless to know them & a great day being with them.
wesly & yunfeng, imy guys^^!
ty for wanted to attend my bdae celebration:)
i m happy to knw u all & u all always r impt^^!
hahs. loves yous guys alots^^!!
ada & charmaine, imy gers too & hope u all will stil want to celebrate my bdae with me[:
laifong mei i still miss u de although we meet up alr not long. laughs.
jiatong, dun tink ur name wont b stated here.
imy alot los. super super lots^^!! hehs.
bak to work le.

Opps^^! I really sucessfully making someone do something so awful things to me now & I understand e feels[:
TY for e way of how e ppl treat me><
I guess e ppl wont come to view my blog anymore.
it doesnt a matter & finally[:
its super super hurt me deep into my heart & almost cried[:
I was shock to get this reply but its also good cus at least i know its not longer making him suffer.
I rather being e one who suffer than u all.
yea, how topid i am?!
but doesnt thats good?
now someone cnt stand me & i lost a super good fren^^!!
its really a pity & super hurt not to hab e best fren anymore to console me wen i need, to dote me every moment, to care for me everytym, to help me wen i need, to be there wen i need, to lend me a pair of listening ears wen i need & will be e one wish to know my things first^^!
but all wasnt a matter le cus i choose to give up everything to let them feel me that way so its my choice.
but at least i know i hab u & i know how good u r in my heart><
all gone & i m bak to e emo lifes of alone lifes^^!
cries no use & hurt no point.
I choose e way then i should take it even i cnt.
all i cn is to bear with it><>

what done cnt b undone. what being hurt is hurt.
its just simply cnt tak bak e words even try to compensate or to make it up[:
tings happened alr cnt b unhappen.
we only cn treasure wad we have now & to learnt frm lesson[:
don't regret & don't wait til it lose then learnt how to treasure just cus its alr too late by e timing its turn bak^^!
but e memories always in e mind & heart that cnt b taken away forever:)
what i m saying is to let everyone think before make any decision.
so won't make any wrong decision to e one u doesnt want to lose it:)

anw i got mood swing these few days^^!
sorry if i offence anyone><
actually e fact is i m in super no mood^^!!
sigh, anw everything jux bak to normal tinking & dun tink too much e best[:
today got math classes so need to go off early & tml gng pool with weijun they al><
wonder e place is at where?! LOLS[: hab to ask them tonight.
anw, i hope someone still will carry on e events we planned at 768mac[:

its super upset today.
if i m wrong, i apologise^^!
but it wasnt so simple s everyone think><

why it seem to b so hurts? sign.
I tot i will b fine aft a moment of upset but it wasnt.
My tears jux feel like rolling dwn my face.
its super hurt til I cnt concentrate on my work.
sign, since tings happened til likdat then nth much to say too[:
what i cn sae if she really trust me & want to hold bak, i hope she cn sms me to get clear.
I will be waiting for her msg patiently to prove everything her wrong[:
I hope there still hab a way to build-up our friendship up agn^^!
thats all i cn say. I also want to type here that i still care for ur all^^!
it seem to b more tougher lifes.
I hate being misunderstood^^!!
anw maybe its not impt to them anymore.

ger, u really tink too much><
if I nbr saw ur blog post today, i won't know that u have this kind of tinking of me^^!
u should know that qiuying is super impt to me & charmaine is super impt to u too doesnt it?
everyone hab a impt childhood fren & i stated v cleared to u once doesnt it?
why should u type at ur blog til likethat?!!
u know its super hurting me?!! does u tink that i dun even care for our sistership?
u only will tink of ur own tinking so doesnt feel that u r v selffish?
pls tink of my feels & get clear before saying anything^^!
sign, carry on saying or typing at e blog will only keep us quarral with no ending.
ur jux being too sensitive to hab this kind of tinking so u doesnt trust our sistership at all?!!
if we build-up so weak & fall down so easily then wad for we being sis?!
we jux nbr meet up for few days then u tink of me til so bad that i jux want her^^?!
I understand ur feel but hope u understand my feeling too[:
dun always tink that u r e one who being hurt only cus someone do feel e same s u^^!!
yea, i admit i m super love-dramatic to e max then so?!
I wont want to quarral over small matters.
stop being childish over small tings.
I also disappointed in u, not only u disappointed in me.
I tot u will be generous but u r not^^! sign.
forget it then. I dw make tings to bcum more even worst.

Ytd I meet up qiuying at blk15 & she went to my house to c e steamer whether she cn use for her project not.
aft dat we went to slack at mama shp there at blk10. hahs><
Today got sci classes so i hab to b rush aft work.
anw these few days make quite lots of mistake at work.
haiyo, i dk wads happening & super tired^^!
sign. this coming sun gng to zoo.
they really want & feel like gng?
nth to post today too cus i dk how to express out my feeling today.
I jux fexed abt it & dk why there something stut that i jux dk how to express now.
I dun feel like posting too. sign. bak to work now. END of posting.

Ytd weijun come down to woodlands meet me to go find qiuying tgt[:
we go blk19 eat chicken rice tgt.
aft that we meet jiatong le & go blk6 meet leon(yonghong).
we slack tgt & hab a nice chat at there:)
so long nbr been siting dwn tgt to hab a chat le.
ytd was jux like past & i been missing e days[:
I jux want to b with al my past frens cus they r impt to me than anyone:)
I now only being with these few gers.
Qiuying, Jiatong, Laifong, Adallyn & Charmaine.
u gers must rmb dat no matter wad happen or someday we all hab any communication brk dwn, my heart will still hab u all.
I wont want her then dw others cus ur name always stated in my mind & my heart:)
dun b seperated & if i nbr meet u all also doesnt mean that i dunhaf uu all^^!
uu gers must rmb alright><>
imy all & ily all to e super max^^!
ty everythings to u gers:)
today qiuying gng come to my hse take steamer ltr. hahs:)
so we gng meet up agn at nites tym.
we cn hab a good chat agn:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIAWEI KOR^^! I oweas rmb ur bdae even we seldom contact cus its in my mind[: c i got ur heart lea? Laughs. I will oweas rmb u & ur name in my mind:) so cheer up for ur bdae. I m so sorry i cnt celebrate ur bdae with u this yr. mayb nxt yr barh okay? hahs.

Ytd is a happy day being with qiuying><
She willing to acc me to ada hse which means its a good thing.
so ger, u dun tink too much & everything is past le.
we said dat treasure wad we have now is alr satisfy doesnt it?
so we jux let everything natural.
ytd at ada hse, she baked rice for us & baked marcoroni.
it super nice s long s is u cook, ada><
cus u r my sis so wadeva u cook is nice or not nice, i will still b there to eat & support^^!
anw really v nice & i will like to eat agn if hab e chance><
btw ytd being with qiuying, i counsel 2ppl & we hab become fren><
hehs, i love counsel ppl & hab e ability to counsel them is my bless^^!
I m super happy my counsel got use[:
anw, wad they experience is part of my experiences too so i cn explain.
hehs, so i know i m not good enough to counsel.
but nbm, i wont b naive de. hahs:)
aft work i gng meet qiuying at wdls(:
i m looking forward to meet her & v anxious to cya:)
ytd jiatong mood wasnt good too.
her mum dun agree her to go jakarta so she emo & stress[:
I know & cn understand her feeling.
her mum also worried & concern abt her so i understand her feeling too.
haiyo, so stress also no point de sis.
wad u hab to do is to work hard & then make a decision end up.
decision is urs so u pt up an decision ur ownself but dun regret[:
this is wad i cn tel u. so sry i only acc u awhile.
I alr b there wen u r emo so hope u understanding.
i gtg with qiuying cus i hlping her with her project & she staying marsiling too[:
but e main reason is i wish to spent more time with her cus we nbr been tgt for so long.
I m sure everyone understand sp i no need explain much.
but rmb u all r impt to me too:)
dun b emo or sensitive or jealous alright?
hehs. those understand me, i tink u all wont right?
ily all my gers to e super max>< !!
dunhaf u all in part of my lifes, mayb i wont b happy now.
anw qiuying, u r really super impt to me.
hope u know my true heart to u.
dunhaf u,my lifes become darkness & u really stand a super impt places in my heart:)
u should know u r how impt to me & i cnt afford to lost u this sis agn^^!!!
Laughs, all say from my heart & true words. NO FAKE WORDS & NO LIES><
btw i alr tell mars clearly on sat.
at first i dunhab e courage to say to him but end uo i stil say le.
i dk he know my meaning not wen he ask me this,
whether i will choose him or work??
I jux ans he shuld know my ans.
My ans is work. I m no longer like last time jux will b choosing him.
he know i give up everything cus of him but he didnt know i wont le[:
I bcum cruel jux cus of him.
I bcum hab fear of it jux cus of him.
so how m i gng to tell u i still choosing u than job?
omg, he also another bhb too jux cus he keep praise himself cute so i wont leave him bla bla.
this doesnt a matter anw.
e main thing is i wont cry cus of him agn & i m dead.
he said he will prove to me using 2yrs time?
so he will do it of wad he say?
i tink its quite difficult but i trust him he can.
so i hope he tried his best to change although we r not couple in future[:
hahs, maybe i tinking of gng to australia with qiuying if really can make it.
i hope we really can do it.
leave spor also better cus we dk anyone there so we wont be so torture & dun need to be so painful although i know our finance will b a big probs.
laughs. jux hope to gib our ownself a better lifes.
gtg makan le. so post til here for today. LOLS :D:

Today i going to visit mars[:
Wen i tink of gng visit mars ltr, my heart really feel v v hurts[:
At first i m so happy i finally cn visit him & really looking forward to it:)
but end up e day finally come, i feel super hurt & bcum low mood.
sign, now i m so afraid to go visit him cus i totally dunhab e courage to say^^!
I dk how to open my mouth say if i really saw him^^!
I tot i cn make it bt exactly I cnt. sign[:
but no matter what, later must go face it.
Ltr I gng tele-visit mars at toa payoh plc with jiajing & ada.
btw ytd was a fun math lesson:)
at least better than previous math lesson alots:)
hahs. ytd sudden got math test. LOLS.
I buy burger king for my family supper ytd nite^^!
so long nbr buy for them s i jux showing some caring to my fam:) hehs^^!
Tml will b gng to ada hse to play mahjiong:)
So long nbr play mahjiong le^^! LOLS[:
Zoo trip date change to nxt wk 18april2010><
hahs^^! so hope we cn successfully go zoo that day:) Laughs.
stop posting le.

I got math classes ltr so i going for classes ltr.
LOLS[: anw my leave hab been approved le.
our zoo outing hab change to 18april le to b more convinent for everyone:)
tml i going to visit mars at toa payoh plc with jiajing & ada .
feel so nervous nw but i m prepared to tell him everthing clearly.
I wonder tml i will b happy or sad? sign[: tink so much also no point.
indeed i miss e days we been tgt & e days of his thoughtful & worried:)
but all its alr past & u r no longer at e expectation dat i want[:
its really hurt me super deeply & my heart hab been left a v v deep cut with lots of blood by him.
does he know wad is e taste & e feeling is?
I know now becoming me was e one who hurting him but i jux simply cnt carry on e life likdat cus theres no trust anymore.
he broke e trust between us & he hurt me deeply agn & agn without tinking or considered so what is e point of hurting both parties agn & agn?
I really so stress til i want to smk nw.
anw ltr i cn smk le cus my fren will hlp me buy:)
I thought i cn quit smking bt exactly i cnt.
Ytd my bestie asking whether want to go australia study?
I feel that i should save up to go with her:)
I been wishing to leave spore to put down every of e heartless & sad memories doesnt it so why shouldnt i agree with her?
I went til there also can make my heart peace down.
but indeed its hard to put down everything that u haben do fin in spore[:
sign, actually i m super emo but i using a 'smile' to cover everything to make everyone feel that i m happy but i m totally not^^!
all e while, I been living in a hurtless & full of fear lifes^^!
e ones who really know me well than i do??
hahs. if really got then really crazy. Laughs.
truly say, i never express my real true feelings at blog for a long tym.
hahs. I dun really know hown to express myself now. LOLS[:
I know how to counsel ppl bt not myself.
I m too stubborn,too naive,emotional & being sensitive.
sign[: stress all over[: bt jux cheerup & stay happy:)
lifes r likdat & we cnt make any changes if things have to be likthat.
today feel unhappy cus of some probs causing that.
anw i gtg for classes le so gt to post til here & prepare my things le. hehs^^!

Ytd was habing a good chat with qiuying[:
I miss e days being with her in e past:)
I want to treasure her well:)
anw today ahyeow sae me & said is for my own good.
haiyo, 1st floor office oweas so noisy.
ytd its really a nice & peace day.

Wahhs, today super ANGRY los^^!
I dk which colleage sabotarge me^^!!
I want to know who is e PERSON but i totally cnt find out!!
cus no one want to tell me^^!!!
now I need to do e topid MAMAGEMENT MINUTES OF MEETING^^!
sobs sobs[: I want cry le lurh^^!
its v stress de los[: sign.
I alr cnt cope with my studies yet now need do e topid tings^^!!
sign. Job alr affected my studies cus i cnt cope with it at e same times.
I really feel like giving up but i cnt disappoint those who put so much hope on me.
haiyo, its v stress & i really cnt tolerate^^!!
btw i m supper happy dat i meeting qiuying ltr[: hehs:)
I m looking forward to meet her soon[:
i meeting ada 8pm at cw too. abt 9.30pm i will leave cw to meet qy:) :P:
hope today will b a good day with her:)

Ytd i get bak my sci test paper le^^! keke(:
I failed but at least its e first time i anyhow do yet still cn get higher marks:)
Liyun finally come to sci classes ytd^^!
she want me to sit with her & forcing me but i jux insist dw & walk to my fren there s she is so kind to hlp me bk a place everytym^^!
Laughs. anw i meet liting & daniel aft my sci classes.
liting & me walk around at wdls pasarmalam to wait for daniel coming to meet us.
Finally he come & we go to civil mac & daniel jux settle his dinner there(:
They acc me to wait for jiatong cus i meet her awhile:)
Ty them & so grateful to have them^^!
we habing a nice chat at civil mac til 12+am ytd^^!!
They still willing to acc me til so late & willing to go hm tgt with me:)
i m supper happy los^^!
cus liting finally agreed to walk home tgt with me^^!
its e first time & tink will b e last tym for her^^! LOLS:)
cus its too far & cn c they b quite tiring ytd[:
hahs[: so daniel walk home with us too & thks for his acc us home:)
i m glad to have them & they always guide me to do e right things(:
If dunhaf them, i might change til halfway & walk bak to e past(:
its really so difficult & tough to being good all e way.
but i will tried my best & i will still v clear to knw wad i m doing:) hahs^^!
anw I love them alots & they place in my heart now[:
I want to put them in impt places too.
btw daniel & liting, if u all read this then dun b so touching^^!
LOLS:) but must rmb me or my name in ur heart even we walk our seperate way one day alright? I hope u all will rmb me & still keep in touch with me if this happen(: Laughs:) I really love u all & a mwarks to u al^^!
E kiss(mwarks) is represent my fren love to u all:) LOLS:)
funny hor me? enjoy & hope e memories stay at ytd:)
anw today i gng to meet ada at cw^^!
I got stay at office today to acc liting[:
stop posting til here le, gtg bak to work le. hehs:)

我的华语并不是很好所以请不要笑[：

这是我第一次用华语来POST我的BLOG。

今天我有科学课程所以得早离开办公室。
昨天我很累所以没有等我的宝贝dorisa了。
今天我的宝贝打信息给我向我道歉。
我并没有怪她，我也很抱歉因为我的累所以最后我选择回家。
我很期待这个星期天！哈^^！
我答应Liting明天迟回家所以会留在办公室到六点。
顺便明天自己去乌兰pasarmalam走走。
写到这里，就这样！哈。

You will know the real meaning of love when you fall in love.
True love never leaves the heart, so if you dont love me now, you didnt love me then.
It is impossible to fall out of love, love is such a powerful emotion,That once it envelops you, it does not depart.
True love is eternal.If you think you were once in love but fell out of it, than it wasent love you were in.
The Hardest Thing In Life Isn't Finding The One You Luv, Its Making The One You Luv...Luv you Back.
I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine,I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind,I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, the New..I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You.
want to be happy because hes happy But how can I be happy knowing im not the one making him smile.
Sticks and stones may break my bones and tear my skin apart, But nothing hurts me more than you,Because you broke my heart.


all these meaningful words make senses & to those who like to read[:

Experience Love As Never Before
Finally, learn what REALLY works (and doesn’t) to get true, Enduring Love.

In my experience, there is one issue that brings people to therapy more than any other. It is the lack of, or breakdown of love. How do I know?
Few years of psychotherapy practice, training and supervision of other therapists has left me in no doubt. And I guess, as you’re here, there is something about love that has eluded you too.
Perhaps you feel frustrated that you can’t fall in love, find love, or maybe wonder if enduring love even exists.
Maybe you are undecided about your current partner or the spark has gone and you are looking to reignite it.
Perhaps you fall for the wrong people, or the wrong people fall for you.
Maybe you have experienced love and then found it all falls apart.
Or perhaps you love your partner, but don’t know how to show it.
Many people know in themselves that they love their partner but don’t know how to express it, how to demonstrate their love through their actions, how to reach their partner, lovingly. We have so often been asked “How can I love my partner and show all that I feel?”
Whatever is in the way for you right now, have you ever wondered why some people seem to “do” love, effortlessly, while others struggle or never seem to get it right?

Has this ever happened to you?
Everyone’s experience of love is individual and unique, yet there are some critical mistakes in love I see repeated over and over:
Being attracted to someone who is really wrong for you...and not being attracted to someone who is suitable
Losing the feeling of love, yet wondering why you stay.
Missing the feeling of ‘falling in love’
Staying in a relationship way too long, or ending too soon.
Sabotaging the best relationship you have ever had
Repeating the same patterns in relationships over and over again – and never learning from them
Creating the very crisis that you are so desperate to avoid
No longer wanting sex with your partner or finding your partner unresponsive
Discovering they’re “just not that into you”, or realising “you’re just not into them”.
Putting more effort into house/car/kids/career, than into your relationship
Feeling that the limits of giving or receiving love, in yourself, or your partner, could be greatly extended, to increase your capacity for love
..... the list is endless

If you are longing for love:
What prevents you from falling in love.
The twelve most important keys to getting genuine, fulfilling love.
Find out why many independently successful people will not find true love. Don’t make the same mistake they’re making.
The real reason why good girls are attracted to bad boys, and nice guys finish last – the answer may surprise you..
Discover how to decipher your emotional experiences (and why it will help you make breakthroughs in love you’ve never thought possible).

When you have found a partner:
How to create a loving relationship that works and keeps working.
The art of loving (how to realise your very own authentic style).
A clear process for you to determine if ‘this is the one’? Use our guide to support you in this critical decision.
Uncover what your partner REALLY wants in a relationship.
Learn how to make and keep the flame of sexual intimacy burning brightly (and what tends to make it go out).
The little known strategies that oftentimes make the difference between the success and failure of a relationship – and it’s not only about sex!
The 11 hidden relationship traps that can cost your relationship and destroy your chances of happiness.
How to be a good lover
The difference between making love and making sex
Discover how to reignite your existing relationship and revive the passion between you. (And it’s not about sexy lingerie).

When the relationship is, or has been, less than perfect:
Discover how to get your ex back .
Clear strategies to determine when a relationship is over, and how to get out. Don’t get stuck in a bad relationship and waste years of your life in frustration and disappointment.

How to avoid bad relationships altogether.
Getting over the pain and learning to love again.
How to transform a tired, stale relationship

For those who want to know more about LOVES or to understand LOVES[: hahs.
exactly i m not v experienced in LOVE too[:

Thoughts Of Love
by Serene.
The sunset has faded once more,Gone are its radiant huesThat warmed the end of my day.The darkness of night envelopes me.The air is still, the quietness of evening deafening.I sit and ponder the past and question the future.Memories, thoughts, flooding my mind.Just like a pond when a stone is cast upon it,So are the rippling effects borne by my heart and soul.The innocence of a child’s daydreamsNow are transformed into a woman’s world of reality.For so long I guarded my thoughts and feelingsKeeping them locked behind closed doors,Allowing no one in.You entered my world and became part of it.I learned to trust someone as would a child,And in doing so gave you the key.A key that unlocked privacy secured for so long.Fantasies became reality, untapped passions unbridled.A tenderness and gentleness I’d never knownWarmed and comforted me.Finally I knew what it meant to be a woman.With the dawn of each new day I am remindedOf the warmth, the closeness we share.The stars of evening, sparkling like jewels,Represent the memories I cherish.The friendship remains, its future undaunted.Daydreams and fairytales do come true.Through the eyes of a child, the heart of a woman,You became my knight in shining armor.And, for one brief moment, like Guinevere,I knew the joys and magic of Camelot.


It begins as friendship. Time spent together, mutual interests, someone to talk with who understands you. Someone who listens, who laughs with you and cries with you.Then one day, quite by surprise, you kiss. You gaze into each other's eyes and know things have changed and there is no going back. You allow them to know that secret place in your heart and soul. Reality tells you it is a love that cannot last but while you have it you know the euphoric and magical thoughts of love.

我曾经以为爱上你,不会错. 你如今变的让我没有把握. 曾经的承诺, 对与错回过头又算是什么?! 这逝去的爱, 如何能复活?! 你过的生活似乎很快乐. 我虽然难过, 爱让我懦弱^^! 付出的太多无法解脱^^! 这心痛你能明白吗??! 我应该如何才不会是这结果?!! 我爱你爱的好辛苦, 爱的好孤独, 爱的没有退路^^! 我好无助, 抹不去痛楚, 忍不住的哭^^!! 这是你给我的礼物!!! 我爱你爱的好辛苦, 爱的好糊涂, 爱的不能醒悟^^!! 你好残酷^^! 我看着来路, 你(却)并不在乎!!! 也许吧, 我无所谓一个人去漫步!!

This lyrics is v meaningful & its represent my feelings in e past[: i always been listening this song wen being with mars(: so i want him to know tough i m wen being with him^^!!!!! E title of this song is 爱的好辛苦[: sobs(:

I m expert at being emotional^^!
actually I m a over-sensitive ger[:
I will get hurt easily & cnt take too deep emotional hits^^!
cus i will hab 'death' tinking or to hurt myself or 'gone crazy'^^!
LOLS(;

For wad a true fren r is
he/she will b there right away wen he/she need u now.
u will care/concern for his/her everything.
u wil help him/her no matter how tough it is wen he/she need ur help.
u will rmb him/her in ur heart even nbr contacts/lost contact.
even though nbr contact, doesnt mean that he/she will alr forgotten u.
he/she still hab u in their heart if u r their true frens[: hahs.

LAUGHS. even nbr met a true fren, still cn survive de.

Ytd jiatong & me go seoul garden eat & we take quite alot of photos^^!
we even went to take neoprints^^! hahs[:
although my mood nt really good ytd bt jiatong is there to acc me:)
i m so thkful to her & loves her to e max^^!
ltr i gng meet my baobei DORISA^^! LOLS[:
I tinking of gib up le, i m so tired(:
its time to let go everything.
I dunhaf e ability to handle anything le[:
I want to forget but i couldnt. E emotional hits gave me v v deep hurts.
Tink bak agn make me super suffering^^!
I will leave wen time is reach[: I will done wad i should first[:
I m so sry to my fam too[: dun blame me for heartless(:
hahs. jux din worry abt me to all my frens.
I m alright. I know u all wont believe but i jux want to be alone[:
dont ask me why or what happen alright(:
ty to u guys^^!

I feel upset to c someone weirdweird likethat de.
yet i dk wad to do but to blame myself[:
I been hurt too wen i hurt someone.
I want to remain good lyk last time but tinking it will be sightly difficult.
I cn understand & i also wont make tings difficult.
I cause all this then i will take it.
Painful nw better than get painful in future[: Laughs.
I m alright aft couples of days(:
i will be fine wen i got CIG^^! its hlp me to get BETTER. LOLS[:
I dk why will hab mood swing. anw it wasnt impt.
everything cn take it & put down de. Laughs(:
ltr must rmb to meet my sis.
gng to knock off soon & i wish to went off sharp today.
hahs. will post agn[:

Ytd i at hm e whole day! LOLS[:
so long nbr stay hm e whole day^^!
it was damm tired^^!
I alr write hao e letter that i want to reply to mars.
I decided to give up evrything[:
I dun fit to be with anyone.
To prevent from getting any hurts or upset, e best way is to give up LOVE(:
now i want to concentrate on my job & study.
I rather make myself SUFFER than hurting anyone or being hurt.
Laughs. being emotional, i m clever at it[:
btw i gng meet JIATONG aft work.
ty her for being with me wen i m so down[:
she know i need her now & wanted to bring me go enjoy.
i m so thkful dat she will tink of me first wen she get her PAY:)
i cn c she change alots & treasure me:)
i really need her today to lend me her shoulder to liy on(:
TY SIS^^! sign(:
stop posting le, gng to work le.

I miss my mum, grandma & sis !
I want to go meet my mum now^^!
just cal her. hahs[:
although only cn c her for only 1hr also nbm!
gtg now or else i cnt c her cus she gng out^^! LOLS:)

Actually I was just angry abt her that day but now i m alright.
so just dun bother abt my POST^^!
I was angry so express my feelings with nasty words[:
I dk how to hate her but not really like her.
Just forget it cus i dw to bother anything:)
LOLS[: i tot i will hate her but i cnt.
til now, i dk how to hate a person. so FUNNY^^!
hahs. wen someone happy & u will b happy.
Today my dad mood better so i will feel better:)
Laughs:))

Today my mood better. I cnt let anything to influence my mood today cus manna bdae celebration at today^^! hahs:)
OMG, i almost forgotten that i have reporting today?!
Last min rmb abt it at ytd. Laughs[:
so i alr told liting to go take e cake first & i go for reporting first.
but we hab to go popular tgt to choose e colour paper & e drawing matters.
today e timing will b abit rush so i must treasure well of e timing(:
i hope manna will like e celebration today although its a simple celebration:)
Daniel, Liting, Soiwlin, Alan, Linyuan & me helping manna to celebrate ltr on aft wrk at somewhere around woodlands(; hahs[:

To:4-Lovely Sweet Frens,
btw i want to say it here for thks to liting, daniel, soiwlin & alan.
In e office only e four of u r super cute dat will join in any fun ativities with me:)
I m so happy & v glad to know u guys. its my bless to know u all:)
i wont find myself unhappy at OFFICE jux cus u guys.
To make my day happier in WH is u guys:)
so u guys r v impt to me too lea. LAUGHS:)
i hope u all will rmb me in e HEART 4evar & must still have outing tgt no matter where u all r alrights? I want to keep in touch 4evar with u all^^!
I dw to lost contact uh[: must updates me uh^^! LOLS:)
& i m saying all those words to u guys cus no ones cn predict future:)
i just say out from my true hearts to u guys[: ily guys:)

Reply: Daniel-I know my words v cruel but i was so angry at dat moment. hahs^^! I oso dw to be like that. sorry & its true, i m likethat. This is me.
Junkai-I know must learn how to forgive & forget[: i was just v angry at dat moment. NO HARM^^! lols:) but u dk e situation & u will understand wen u heard e story. long tym nbr chat ya too le uh[: meet up soon alright:)
Jiatong:LOLS[: how to say its a lucky ger lea? hahs^^! I understand ur meaning exactly^^! Ty for ur supporting! u understand me well e most:) ily to e MAX^^! Laughs:) meet up soon alright? imy to e MAX & other three-lovely sis.